Overwhelmed by this surge of sadness.I've always believed that if one don't work hard enough , they have itself to blamed ; so how about the person that have studied like a dog and still do very badly for exams? I really really wish that I am not under that category. I am not afraid of failure , I jut fear that I couldn pick myself up anymore. 2012 just begun and I am already so numb. it is times like this that I really miss you.I miss being able to text you , to encourage you , to ignite my passion. Tomorrow is a short day , gonna survive and ensure that I am still in the game. It is okay to fall , just make sure you fail better.

For the 1001 times you are leaving.Why are you avoiding me , why are you drawing the line?

Was it my fault for loving you ? Was it my fault for wanting this friend back?

I dont even expect anything in return.All i ever wanted was for you to be happy. Yeah

just like in the past , I am willing to heal you , make you smile and be there for you till

she come back and take my place again.Why do you have to even come back at this point

of time. I took so bloody long to stop thinking of you. Converted all my love into positive energy

in my life to ensure that I am good enough. I would be lying if I said that I've forgotten about us.

The fact remains that you are a very valued old friend.Honey , this time I will let you go ,

just dont ever come back.

I miss you , I miss you so much. Why did you come back when I am finally at my peak again?

How could i ever let go of a guy like you. Honey , I've tried so hard.

Where did you go?

Where have you been?

I need to know. You are my friend.

Did I do something wrong to hurt you?

Left in the dark now I am blind.

Suffering from burn out and brokenness.

I'll go back and retrace my footsteps.

I'll do anything to hear your voice

And see your face again.

I wish we could talk now

Now that it’s over.

I see that you've moved on

But I need some closure

It’s weighing heavy on my chest

It’s all that I have left

I know that it’s over,

But I need some closure.

It’s been a year

Not one call from you

I heard you moved on but what should I do?

See all my friends tell me to let go

But I can’t get you out of my mind

Pacin’ back and forth just wondering

Why this chapter in my life had a sudden end

But now it’s too late to hear your voice and see your

face again.

I've tried and I’ve tried to understand why

Why did he leave like that?

I wanna know how many people actually get such a chance in their whole entire life?

How many people get to dream of their loved ones and then have them back the day

after. Yes i am so damn blessed with this second chance. But honey , what should I do?

Should I love you with open arms or should i just push you away? I am confused and afraid.

Trapped in this never ending dilemma , when will I ever find the right direction? Life is never

fair , I know. What that i find unjustifiable is the fact that we have to let go of something this

strong ; I used up all my 11:11 to wish for you and now that you are back , I don't even have the

guts to make this strong and courageous decision. I want this friendship back , I really do.Your

voice still lingers , so soft yet so firm.Letting go was never an option , no?One last time , honey , just

one last time. Even if i have to be so damn defeated at the end of the day , I wanna look back and say

"I've tried."

The only consolation of goodbye is the glimmer of hope that there will still be another hello , someday , somehow. I am glad that we had the talk. Even though it is thru the talk that i realise that we are still very far apart , i am still glad that it happened. At least for now i know that you are still the happy little boy that i know.

Your love, you assurance and your comfort was all that i needed to survive. Now i have survived , ng weifeng , please be happy as well.

I think i am over you. No more pain , no more tears. A little part of me is feeding on your guilt to survive and the larger part of me still wants you to be happy.

The xmas message was heartwarming. Thank you honey , thank you for showing me that i am still important to you. I am really glad that you left with an explanation. At least i know that a man like you was worth loving. The past cannot be forgotten , it can only be accepted. I want you to know that i will always love you , just the way you are. Your honesty , your humor , your coldness . I just want you to know that whoever you are , you are the man that i fell deeply for.

I really hope that she is treating you well. Is she drawing pretty things? Is she fixing awesome meals? I still miss you , will you miss me too?

One day , just one day , you will look back at me and realise how much i have changed and fucking hate yourself for letting me go. I know she was your dream and you would give up anything to be with her. Yea, i couldn deny the fact that i would probably do the same if lauren were to come back.

But hey , remember this , one day , when you are done loving her . You will realise that you've missed that one person tht was willing to give everything up for you , you will realise that you miss the girl that could wake up at the middle of the night just to make sure that you were well before we sleep. You will miss that girl that would go down right to you just to give you a big hug and vanish like a ghostz yes honey , i was the girl that will do it all just to make you the happiest person on earth. I was the one that would let go of all my pride and act silly , i was the one that would forgive you for every single mistake that you made. And i was the one that would still want you to be happy even though you let me
Go.I still believe that you've loved and argee that it is all that i bother. Honey , i really believe that you still loved me till that night. Every single action, every single word. You wouldn have done all of those stuff if you didn love me. You wont want to protect me , you wont wAnt to go out with me, you wont want to care about every single other guy in my life. I know you have tried honey. She was your dream and i honestly think that it is okay for you to finish that dream. But one day , just one day , i will turn out to be the best of me ,. And on the day that you finally realise that she is not the one that you are looking for , i will walk back into your life , give you the hug that i always wanted to give . Cook the promised meal , draw pretty cards for you , and tell you how much i really really loved you. With the best outfit , prettiest smile and everything that will make you love me.

Fret not, i will have a awesome
Boyfriend at that time. I am sure god will bring one to me. With my new looks , new smile , new clothes , smarter brain .at that time, you will hate yourself for letting a girl tht loved you so much go. I will be stronger , faster and way better.

A man like you could never be forgotten , a woman like me have been thru more than you could even expect.

Honey , i lost count of the days without you . I am just so worried about you ; so worried that you might be hurt , sonworried that you will feel lonely , so worried that you still refuse to bathe early. What should i do? What should do to make it all right again? Would she love you the way i always wanted to? Will she go the extra miles just to make you smile? I really really hope so.

I cant sleep baby , i am thinking of you. Thinking of all the sweet memories we had together and embracing every single bit of love left. ' the only love that we can keep , is the love we gave' i finally got this right. Honey , loving you makes me feel so alive and thence this is the only love that i am keeping even till now. Everything will be fine for me . How could a goodbye hurt me so deeply? I really really wonder. Perhaps i loved.truly madly deeply.

I dont care about anything anymore. It is not about me deserving you anot . I just have to keep working , keep fighting such that one day i will bevome stronger, faster and better. That is the only way to make myself feel like i am good enough. I wont stop praying for you .