I've lost count of what day it is today.tonight was miserable , i could not even get you out of my head. How i wish i could say something to make it all better?

What had got into me ? Why am i still holding on ? Screw instincts. I hate it for being faulty at such an important timing. Baby , i still couldn believe that you did that to me. I always thought that we were just on another trip to your hot and cold journey. I was so certain that you will talk to me soon and make everything goes right again. But nothing did. I am drowning in this bloody trap called love. With you , i am totally irrational.

I am glad that you will never pay attention to me enough that you will look at this blog. I DO NOT , want to be seen as a desperate bitch that is clinging onto you. In fact , i hate imagining what you will say to your crush. Sunshine, is it gonna be the same answer? ' i am not close to her . We aren even talking now , we aren friends. I could delete her if you want to.' is this what that you will say to her ? I am so afraid my dear.

I wish i could make it go right again. You have no idea how hard i was trying to block out all my emotions.how i wish i could just tell you that i lost your game and i am willing to do anything that you want me to , just to get you back. But this aren what you want . You just want to be with her isn it? You just needed her love to survive .

I know you are a man of passion , and what kills me the most is the fact that all my efforts to make you smile will never outweigh a little smile from her. I hate to admit the fact that my best was just tip of the iceberg for you. It dont suck to be me , it suck to see how perfect you are because i am me.

I honestly have no idea why i am so attracted to you. Perhaps i owed you in my past life. But honey , why? I may not be the one that knows you the best , but i am sure that that night wasn as simple as it seems. Why did you came back with a open heart? Why did you come back with a new attitude ? It appears to me that you listened. It seems like you were attempting to change , so that i will be happy. Perhaps i was misleading myself once again. But that night was the only thing that i could remember about you.

I wish you were mad at me ; because i could solve it with a sorry. Perhaps you are apologising because you know that you can never return to my feelings.dont you get it baby? I dont care about anything else. I just want you to be back , i just wanna talk to you like how we use to. Why is everyone so certain that you will be back? Why are they even giving me more and more false hope.

I am exhausted honey . I really wanna say goodbye. I still need to face the fact that you likes another girl and you will never think of me like how i think of you. I've tried my best . Buddy , was that all that matters?